and I was feeling quite anxious about it. I haven’t seen Dr. Reed in over a year, and I wasn’t looking forward to the experience. I don’t want bad news. I don’t want another MRI or spinal tap. The first few months of the MS was such a sad, overwhelming time. Why would I want to revisit it?

Ben went with me. I don’t think he understands how much I count on him when it comes to the MS. He helps me with my injections and drives me to my appointments, but it’s more than that. I can’t give up when I know that this is about more than me. He makes me strong.

The past few weeks have been rough physically and emotionally. The cold is getting to my left hand and knees. Ben and I have both been fighting a nasty cold. We’ve been struggling with new challenges in our relationship, but we keep going together. He makes me crazy, but I thank God for him every day.

The visit ended up going well. I got to do a few new timed tests: walking, putting pegs in holes, and a written cognitive test. My walking is fine; I didn’t fall over. My left hand works slower than my right hand. It was odd how much more I had to focus when using my “wonky” hand. I broke the record on my cognitive test. I haven’t lost my touch. (Thanks Brain Age! Best Christmas present ever!!)

I have to get a couple of blood tests done, and I have to start taking vitamin D daily. There have been studies linking MS with vitamin D deficiency. That makes sense, as MS occurs more frequently the farther away you get from the equator. Riley has to take vitamin D. We can start a club.

Rhonda made a comment at the end of the visit that made me feel good. She asked if I wanted to see the picture in my file from last year, and that I looked so much better. We both did. I declined. I know where I was last year: not a good place. I didn’t even realize that Ben was there in that bad place with me. We made it through that; We’re making it through now. I’m feeling really positive today.

*sigh*

I love you all.